What Scares You?

Living in the era of AC, it’s hard to comprehend what used to scare me – I’m not sure I every truly felt “fear”. BC, I was scared of spiders or failing a test. But now? Now I measure fear in terms of battling something as monumental as cancer. It's like comparing a paper cut to a shark bite – there's just no contest.

There have been some great moments in my journey to recovery. From travelling to Seville, to lacing up my trainers for a run, I've celebrated each milestone like a champion. But just when you think you've got this whole recovery thing covered, life decides to throw you a curveball – or in my case, a flare-up of chronic abdominal pain.

So, there I am, back in A&E, trying to dodge yet another round of scanxiety while waiting for the results of yet another CT scan. It's like déjà vu, but with a side of nausea and fatigue. And let me tell you, the worry in the eyes of my loved ones? It's enough to make even the bravest soul feel a little shaky.

Now, I've heard all the well-meaning pep talks about how far I've come and how strong I am – and sure, I'll take those gold stars with pride. But what I've come to realise is that this rollercoaster ride isn't just about highs and lows – it's about navigating the twists, turns, and loop-de-loops of a whole spectrum of emotions.

I have found myself having the annoying thought of "why me?" a lot this week. I mean, seriously, who signed me up for this reality show without my consent? But then again, who is ever really prepared for a plot twist like cancer, right?

Yet, amidst all the chaos, there's one thing I hold onto tighter than the safety bar on a rollercoaster – the reminder that I've survived 100% of my bad days. Because let's face it, even the scariest rollercoaster eventually comes to a stop, and we step off, stronger and braver than before.

So, to all my fellow thrivers and survivors out there riding the waves of life's rollercoaster, just remember: we're in this together. So, grab onto your courage, embrace the fear, and let's ride this rollercoaster called life – one loop-de-loop at a time.